Hi Amanda,
I am sorry that I have not posted back to you for so long, my life has been really busy with this whole getting married thing; I am sorry that I did not post earlier.
I am happy
to know that those mean comments was not from you my dear new friend Amanda. It saddened & ached my heart when I thought that those was from you. It hurt to think that someone who was being so nice to me would go back to acting mean. I am happy
to know that those was not from you. Yes it is sad that one of your friends might have done that, but that is alright
just as long as it was not you
. I am happy that you do not hate me
.
I understand that you are not trying to be mean by your question about my art, you are just stating a fact, that it scares you, & that is perfectly understandable, I mean someone can't help what scares them,
so don't worry, I know you are not trying to be mean, just stating a personal truth
.
But to Answer your question: Yes the art is my art; & yes I know they are quite freakie, but I want you to know that they came from a very dark time in my life.
They came from a very dark painful place deep inside of my heart during a very sad time in my life. Those drawings that you was referring to, I drew them right after my previous fiancee (Not Nancy, a different one before her named Corrine) left me. She left me the day after prom. When she left I was broken, I was torn up inside, & I wanted to die. She was my first girlfriend ever, my first love, my first fiancee, my first everything. I loved her & I missed her. I couldn't take her leaving me...it hurt so much to lose someone I loved so dearly.
After she left me I took up writing & drawing so that I could use a cathartic way of releasing the pain so I would not kill myself (for suicide is a sin). So I wrote, I wrote & I drew & what I wrote & drew was a fictional story influenced by real life. I wrote from a real place, I wrote from somewhere deep inside. I was hurt; hurt & sad, but always in love. I wrote out my pain, I wrote out that which was hurting me inside. I wrote about how sad I was at losing my first love, I wrote about how tormented I was by her leaving me; & I drew, I drew my pain. I did not draw what I was externally doing, but I did draw what my heart was doing; I drew it, so that I didn't physically do it. That is the meaning of Cathartic Release: To draw, write, sing, dance, or paint out how you feel inside so that you don't actually do it.
I was hurt, so I drew & wrote out how I felt; it was sort of a diary of that time in my life, about how I felt inside...I missed her.
That guy in the drawings, he is me, he is me doing what I felt like doing inside, but instead of doing it, I drew it, drew it so that I would not do it, so I would not sin. The guy in the drawings is me Jack, & he is slitting his wrists & somberly remembering her, the girl who he loved so much, & how happy their relationship was, & how sad he is now that she is gone...he is remembering...& it hurts.
I wrote it, & I drew it, I wrote it & I drew it until it was all out & until I felt better again.
It is all done now, all except the very end. That shall be written after my marriage to Nancy. For in the end Jack accept that Corrine is gone, & he is alright with that. He accept who she is as a person now & he accepts that she really has left him, & it is all alright, & they are both able to be happy & they are both able to move on with their lives, date other people, have relationships, fall in love again, & yes even get married, & yes they have...& they are happy now.
That is the end, & that is why it has not been written yet, because I am only engaged, but I will be marrying Nancy Next October, so it should be done by next December
. I hope you like the ending of the book, I sure do. & it is wonderful, it is a most wonderful & beautiful book, even though it is very sad. It basically guides the reader starting from the moment in my life when Corrine left me, finishing when I am no longer haunted by those things from my past, I have moved on, & am happily married, married to a loving wife, & happy forever & ever. That is what the book does, that is what the book shows, it is my diary, yet at the same time it is a fictional story. It tells the tale of how one man lost his true love, the sorrow he felt in losing her, how he got better, moved on, started dating again, fell in love again, got engaged, married & ended up truly happy in the end. It is a tale that I hope everyone can relate to, that I believe everyone has felt at some point in their life. It helped me get over my pain, & I hope it can in some way help others through their pain. For there truly is a light at the end of the tunnel, I know, for I have seen it.
Thus the moral of my story is, Hope, Hope & wait, & don't worry for things will turn around, the bad that was once good will become good again, & everything will turn out alright in the end. Someday will come.
So that is my story, that is the meaning behind my art. I know it is a little freakie, but I hope you understand it in the end, & that you eventually do not see it as freakie, or scarry, but as a sign of potential & a never ending hope, a hope that one day things will get better.
for further readings on my book Depths & Painful Love Letter refer to the fallowing links:
www.jackkemplin.com/fm1.htmlA movie (no art, just pictures) about Corrine & me. Music is a big part of this film, without the sound you will not be able to understand it, so please only go to this link if you have working speakers on your PC. I started making this movie shortly after she left me, but finished it just last year. It is about the pain Jack feels after losing Corrine & about how sorry he is if he did anything to make her want to leave him.
www.jackkemplin.com/bio.htmlThis is my online Bio, it takes up three different web pages, in which the oldest one was written shortly after Corrine had left me. In these bios you can see how my life turns from that tormented horrible one, to the wonderful happy one it has now become. These bios cover my who life, from the time of the start of my book when Corrine left me till the end of my book when I am now together with someone & happy. So if someone wants a short example of when Corrine first left me & my craziness, till when I became engaged to Nancy & became happy, here it is, all in my Bios.
www.jackkemplin.com/arykh.htmlThis is an interview about my book, where I talk about it & what it is about. Now this interview can be quite scarry because it was done shortly after Corrine left me, & I was quite sad still during it & it shows, my sadness at losing her shows through so clearly that it is scarry, I am very messed up still in this interview, but we must forgive that, for I did just lose the only girl I had ever loved, so I was bound to still be a little tormented. but don't worry for it is just a fictional book, & remember that in the end things got better, which at this time they still had not.
& for those curious to what the fictional book influenced by that part of my life is like, here is a preview of chapter one, of my book Depths. This is what all that pain turned into.
www.jackkemplin.com/depths1pv.htmlHave a nice day & enjoy.
Sincerely,
Your Friend
Jack Danya Kemplin